Ode to Krakow While Thinking of Ryan Graham Deceased

Sometime in the early hours of February 27th 2009, my best friend's cousin died suddenly in San Francisco, California. He was 24 years old.

Ryan Graham was more like my best friend Brian's little brother. I last saw him in Krakow, Poland in summer 2008, where Brian had immigrated in 2007. Ryan and I had a mini-falling out in the Eastern European humidity over something pointless when we were both visiting Brian. Two embarrassingly bombastic types throwing jibes and insults over dry Sacher torte and Tyskie Beer. He and Brian had just comeback from Croatia and a series of family drama fueled adventures inspired by Ryan's endless amount of energy and ceaseless will to party round the clock.

Ryan was a sous chef, the child of a single mother who'd left an abusive husband when Ryan was little. Ryan spent his last day alive fighting against the aggression of those less openhearted than he was.

Ryan was really funny. Is really funny. I still hear all his animated expressions and snappy rejoinders. His jokes were NEVER mean. Great sense of humor and always full of energy...I don't think I ever saw him frown.

[Above]Ryan came to visit Brian in Krakow in May 2008 and he thought he'd treat him to a haircut, Polish style, on the balcony of the apartment in which Brian was living.]

Friends of mine had become his best friends. Every one had seen him on an upswing in his life lately. He and Brian, both being half Jewish, had gone to Auschwitz in May. I did not get a chance to say goodbye to him. I had wanted to write him on MySpace, let bygones be bygones, and suggest that he become chef in Sonoma/Napa, where the recession was not hitting cooking jobs as hard as in Frisco. The Wine country is quiet but it has a good effect on people. I thought he'd mellow out and "get on back to Grass roots" as the Freak Brothers comics say. The inner Bay Area is not a particularly nice place these days.

I had recently heard that he had been doing great so I decided to wait until Brian's wedding or some other event so being friendly again wouldn't seem like such a big deal. I of course wish I had not waited but I know he was not an intrinsically begrudging person. Years ago, I lost a brother who was a lot like Ryan and only 25. It shocks me to think of my best friend and his sister losing there brother. Ryan was animated enough to leave enough memories for many lifetimes. We have that intact.

This poem was inspired by Jim Morrison's eulogy to Brian Jones from 1969.


Ode to Krakow While Thinking of Ryan Graham Deceased

A lady born in 1922
Survived the Holocaust
Abandoned in Piedmont
Mummified
Door ajar for five years
Tax liens on St. Mary's Basilica

I've been chosen to
sing
The song of the Warsaw Ghetto Rebellion

Poor Rosa Luxemburg

All your friends you never saw
off on the tram
Crowding around Oświęcim
while their candles burned down

Return so we can wire you
Hit the floor
in the Kazimierz instead

Writhing Alameda Beach filth sculptures
Should have been the
driftwood ones by Emeryville, Vistula
the ones that don't fall out
and knife you by
the flea market
hole in the fence entrance

You've left us your
wife beater vest
To compete with
I hope you went out knowing
like a Reform rabbi

A young man
with East Bay silt
coating his arms
and hands
Finally free to
move about
the flyover states

The Intrinsic Liquidation Committee

Rosa

Red hair blushed,
in freckles

Main Market Square
dream
mad
stifled
Witness

The police, the floor
the wallets

You were fighting
the Piedmont Pennywise

You were the burnt
Sunscreen
for Nowa Huta mall high noons

Organic altarpieces
Traveler of Columbia

Look now where it's got
You

in Carpathian heaven
with the sculptors
and the Chasidics

The handyman
Found
The body, royal, pipe down

Lucky got owned
What is this
Cracovian Calendar
You're made of

don't poke holes in Rosa's
Heart

Will he fear
Pushed heavenward
Thru the halls of
one love

Requiem for a Neverwait
That smile
That Golden Years
laugh
has leaped upward

into the Aron Kodesh