Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Letter to Grandma: "Show me how to be a better Catholic, lest I feign stigmata at secondary school!!!"

( "Sandoz Nostalgia" Original four sided Decoupage in memory of my Grandma Rose)

(I'm truly shocked. It was obvious then that I was leading my Nan to a certain extent because I wanted to appeal to her old school Second Generation Italian Calabrian self and was hoping for some extra shrapnel in the Christmas stocking but wow- I praised the Pope? I was feigning stigmata in middle school? Did I think I was being 'cheeky?" Irreverent? Irish free flow? Will I lose my Commie Card over this? I've still never been to a Catholic Mass only the Anglican services. My baptism at St.Leos on Piedmont Avenue across from Fentons still stands as my sole appearance to date. I feel I have respect for all religions beacuse I was raised without any of them.)


Dear Grandma,

Thank you and Grandpa very much for the necklace! I love Indian things! And I can wear it to graduation from the 8th grade! I can't believe soon I will be 14 years old! Most kids don't think that's a big deal but i do! 14 is a long way to go! I hate school but I have many friends. The teachers don't like me alot (sic) of them stand near me and my friends and shake their heads! I hate them!

Well I thought about it and I just thought I better tell you because you're an expert on the subject. Anyway whats (sic) been on my mind alot lately is something I never really thought about before. No its not Sex or Drugs its Religion!!! please don't be angry at with mom but I have a friemnd who is Baptist almost everyone in ( 'insert name of foul redneck rural California town here' ) is and I went with her to a couple of services and can you believe it they said the Catholics were with the devil! I could have exploded because up until a month ago I didn't know that the Christian church had broken away from the Catholic Church I thought they were both the same!! My friend (____) her father is a Christian preacher and she'd forced to sit through these horrible services were they say people who listen to pop music are "Devil Worshippers!!"

That made me sooooo mad!! I'm not to(sic) into religion but I don't like it what people say when I tell them I was baptised Roman Catholic and that I'm proud of it! I mean when you compare Billy Graham to the Pope its like comparing the NBC orchestra to Mozart! Last time I got into a ruck about religion I ended up beating up a girl because she said I was sacrareligious (spelling?) etc. She wasn't hurt but we both got suspended from school for a day. I was thinking about learning some Latin then talking in tongue at school to see what all the kids that hate me because I'm Catholic would do? But I think I might be insulting myself more.

Once this really weird boy was bugging me and saying really mean things to me so I held up my and told him when I was 16 the blisters on my palms would pop open and blood will run out and that he was messing around with someone higher then him and that weird boy hasn't bugged me since! Don't get me wrong I have alot of friends and get O.K. grades and I'm not using religion as a hoax or for fun because I know the Roman Catholic church doesn't mess around and it's super serious. I told my mom while that man was downing the Catholic Church I wanted to scream at him that part of the Christian religion was formed out of sin so King Henry could marry another wife so he sent Catherine of Aragon away who was Catholic and started the Anglican church which was just the Christian Church!

Mom said my facts weren't strait(sic) and that before I oppose someone about religion I should learn more. But we both agree the Christian church is for sinners that call themselves churchgoers to make themselves feel better! There are over 120 Christian Churches in ______. 1 Catholic and no synagoges (sic)! Next time I see you we should go to mass together so I can get an understanding of the Catholic church. Mom works and has to sleep in the day time so I'll probably go there on my own if I can get there besides I think she's already excommuted(sic) because of divorce etc. She also says I shouldn't go back to the baptist church beacuse I don't like the way they distort things and they give me funny look! _____ isn't a religious freak but her parents are!

Please try to send me any information you have on R. Catholic etc beacuse the Encyclopaedia is hard to understand. And please don't be angry with mom for letting me go to a Christian service it was a good expirence(sic) but a boring one because I didn't feel anything good about Jesus or Mary (who they didnt(sic) even mention!!) was said. Thanks you.
I Love you and Grandpa!
PS:I'm really into cooking these days! x x xxxxx
x xxxx xxxxxxx xx

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Blogger par.nordstrom said...

(Saint P.) :- Aw, my child,suckin up to da Poop is a horrible sin ... One of da worstest & horriblest evva ! But I forgive ye , my child .
(Amanda) -Thank ye , thank ye, thank ye Father !
-My pleasure , my child.Now dat´ll be 100 Ave Marias . Plus 50 bucks (tax deductible , of course . ) And pax vobiscum , my child !//

P.S.Fine writing again , Amanda . Yer prose really takes off like a rocket , when writin abt yer childhood. Would luv to see sum lengthier texts !//
Signed :
P.( Da son of a son of a preacher man . )

6:37 AM  

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