MARK FAST's FASHION FAIL at adding "voluptuous models" to his runway-BIG TIME FAILURE!

1. Mark Fast's idea of glamour for the healthy voluptuous woman: Flashdance meets Matalan-YUCK!


What terrible clothing to showcase a voluptuous woman in!

And no, I'm not going to be a good sub and say "Oh at least he's doing something for 'curvy' models, blah , blah..." Those clothes are for very thin women and the models, while really healthy, look uncomfortable and ridiculous. An A+ for effort but a very big D-minus (pun intended) for the ultimate result. It is sad that finally, when healthy trim models, neither over or underweight, hit the runway that they are modelling such formless and unglamorous clothing. With less healthy looking celebs walking around half naked or in clothing with zero mystery, perhaps Mark Fast forgets that a voluptuous women is already sensual and does not need to be exposed to be sexy, much less elegant.


For starters, the are no cups to support the breasts on the vest (aka tank top) that the above model (Hayley Morely) in the middle is wearing and her nipple line is being forced to Antarctica. It's like putting Kate Moss into a G cup bra and sending her out in public with no shirt over herself and only a tattered Burberry shrug for symmetry.

All of the above necklines, make it impossible to wear a bra and will smash down the boobs-not a good look. The model Crystal Renn, on the far right, looks virtually flat chested which is not what she's celebrated for and undergarments should not be cutting the clothing off at the natural waist! Designers don't seem to know where the natural waist is these days. They either place it below the bust or an above the pubic bone. Gone are the days when clothing nipped in at the true waist and women looked womanly, now the tube torso and six pack reigns. Mainly Fast failed in his designs because the models don't look hour-glassy and symmetrical, they look squashed, hawkish and squarish.

2.Diana Dors (built along the lines Crystal Renn) shows what curvy styling is really all about.
Mark Fast needs to take a very long look at some vintage photos of June Wilkinson, Anita Ekberg, Mansfield and Sophia Loren and copy what they wore or at least start understanding a healthy trim voluptuous figure and how it differs from that of an underweight model. This grunge waify-matchgirl-in tatters- look flatters no one ESPECIALLY voluptuous women with breasts and hips!

Here is what Mark Fast needs to study like a hawk to get with the programme:

3. Diana Dors (above) aka The British Marilyn Monroe, wears a well constructed dress for day or night that can be worn off the shoulder yet the neckline and torso of the dress allows her to wear a strapless bra. Like Monroe and Bettie Page, Dors was not larger busted like Loren or Ekberg nor did she have the constantly corseted tiny waist of Jayne Mansfield, she simply had a great, healthy figure much like a more petite, hourglassier version of Crystal Renn's. A healthy, trim, curvaceous figure needs well constructed garments not stretchy 80's styling out of a Human League video.

Sophia Loren (above) wearing a classic ballgown in a cut that she'd have translated into many of her day as well as evening dresses during he 1950's; nipped in at the waist, full or pencil skirted and supported and bust accentuated (yet never cartoonish like Mansfield). Today this style might be called a "prom dress" by some but rarely are the "prom dresses" of today hitting at the true waist and rarely are they constructed well. A pink/floral day dress similar to the one Loren is wearing above was used to great effect in a Hanes add featuring an hourglassy Jennifer Love Hewitt and message boards buzzed with where to buy "that dress" but alas designers don't make em like that any more and it was a one off.



The stunning at any weight, Anita Ekberg (above) in a square cut brocade sheath evening dress. Once again, a cut that works for a voluptuous trim woman, both day and night but which is not that easy to find off the rack any more. Hayley Morely is built on a scale similar to a younger svelte Ekberg yet Fast does not seem to bestow upon her the rich and opulent wardrobe and designs that Ekberg rocked in the 50's and early 60's.


Here is one of my spring looks, this simply denim day dress with a full (not A-line) skirt has bust seaming and great support and I pair it with a fitted calico blouse, tanned legs and blue suede slides. Simple, clean, still curvy but not trashy and no weird lumpy bits. The dress has been worn so much that it may fall apart soon but what can I do? They don't make em like that any more; obviously and obliviously.

Oh please, we should all be so lucky

...to have Pete Townshend's abs at any age. Having had my beautiful son six months ago I still have 18 more pounds to go before I'm back at what I once thought was "big."

I now know what "big" is. Pete's stomach is NOT big!

My tum helped build a Super baby who is almost 25 pounds at six months and his doctor says he's 100% perfect for his height, trim even. Trim is Pete's stomach. Not many straight people over 30 have one that flat!

It's a second job to get my figure back but I'm still not looking as bad as these amorphous and insipid, faceless muffin Jabba the Hut people slagging Pete's awesome wardrobe malfunction at the Super Bowl. A few of these detractors I deigned to google and saw from their photos that they should be the last people to ever be making value judgements about appearance! Crikey, more than a few were doing a far impression of the Michelin man.

That is NOT a flabby stomach at all on Pete Townshend, he is in great shape. Most of the idiots who were talking shite about him predictably are not.

Happy Valentine's Day

Kayne West: Stupid, lowlife, meretricious FAILURE! (12 years later in 2022...where’s the lie?)

What an insipid clown Kayne West is. He claims to be some alchemist of Neo Pan-Africanism for the MTV contingency and yet all he seems to accomplish is bringing every stereotype that the white supremacist power structure has about black males to a burgeoning Neo and Paleo-conservative America. Kanye brings it to life in blazing Minstrel Show glory. He acts rude, self entitled, bombastic, plays the persecution complex Olympics and now he and his friend are walking around in full length coats consisting of Lynx pelts a big wild cat now threatened in 48 states and nearly extinct in most of Europe. I'm very enraged over this and just can't compute why any First World person would kill a big cat for it's pelt. The cat looks so much more beautiful in it, they avoid humans as much as possible and the killing of lynx directly contributes to the illegal endangered animal fur trade. Big cats are not chickens or yoghurts, they are top predators that represent the wilderness, forests, deserts. They have a intrinsic nobility that I find, in tandem with nature or without, almost religious. Kanye whine's that "animal rights activists don't have their priorities straight" and "don't care about people....." Tacky and atrociously nasty. NO ONE, I repeat again NO ONE (save a homeless person), can rationalize a fur coat; especially of an animal who's numbers are rapidly dwindling. I won't stand idly by while this Atlanta vagina sailor stabs the good work of Big cat and endangered species advocates in the heart with his paucity of values and common sense. "