Monday, February 22, 2010

MARK FAST's FASHION FAIL at adding "voluptuous models" to his runway-BIG TIME FAILURE!

1. Mark Fast's idea of glamour for the healthy voluptuous woman: Flashdance meets Matalan-YUCK!


What terrible clothing to showcase a voluptuous woman in!

And no, I'm not going to be a good sub and say "Oh at least he's doing something for 'curvy' models, blah , blah..." Those clothes are for very thin women and the models, while really healthy, look uncomfortable and ridiculous. An A+ for effort but a very big D-minus (pun intended) for the ultimate result. It is sad that finally, when healthy trim models, neither over or underweight, hit the runway that they are modelling such formless and unglamorous clothing. With less healthy looking celebs walking around half naked or in clothing with zero mystery, perhaps Mark Fast forgets that a voluptuous women is already sensual and does not need to be exposed to be sexy, much less elegant.


For starters, the are no cups to support the breasts on the vest (aka tank top) that the above model (Hayley Morely) in the middle is wearing and her nipple line is being forced to Antarctica. It's like putting Kate Moss into a G cup bra and sending her out in public with no shirt over herself and only a tattered Burberry shrug for symmetry.

All of the above necklines, make it impossible to wear a bra and will smash down the boobs-not a good look. The model Crystal Renn, on the far right, looks virtually flat chested which is not what she's celebrated for and undergarments should not be cutting the clothing off at the natural waist! Designers don't seem to know where the natural waist is these days. They either place it below the bust or an above the pubic bone. Gone are the days when clothing nipped in at the true waist and women looked womanly, now the tube torso and six pack reigns. Mainly Fast failed in his designs because the models don't look hour-glassy and symmetrical, they look squashed, hawkish and squarish.

2.Diana Dors (built along the lines Crystal Renn) shows what curvy styling is really all about.
Mark Fast needs to take a very long look at some vintage photos of June Wilkinson, Anita Ekberg, Mansfield and Sophia Loren and copy what they wore or at least start understanding a healthy trim voluptuous figure and how it differs from that of an underweight model. This grunge waify-matchgirl-in tatters- look flatters no one ESPECIALLY voluptuous women with breasts and hips!

Here is what Mark Fast needs to study like a hawk to get with the programme:

3. Diana Dors (above) aka The British Marilyn Monroe, wears a well constructed dress for day or night that can be worn off the shoulder yet the neckline and torso of the dress allows her to wear a strapless bra. Like Monroe and Bettie Page, Dors was not larger busted like Loren or Ekberg nor did she have the constantly corseted tiny waist of Jayne Mansfield, she simply had a great, healthy figure much like a more petite, hourglassier version of Crystal Renn's. A healthy, trim, curvaceous figure needs well constructed garments not stretchy 80's styling out of a Human League video.

Sophia Loren (above) wearing a classic ballgown in a cut that she'd have translated into many of her day as well as evening dresses during he 1950's; nipped in at the waist, full or pencil skirted and supported and bust accentuated (yet never cartoonish like Mansfield). Today this style might be called a "prom dress" by some but rarely are the "prom dresses" of today hitting at the true waist and rarely are they constructed well. A pink/floral day dress similar to the one Loren is wearing above was used to great effect in a Hanes add featuring an hourglassy Jennifer Love Hewitt and message boards buzzed with where to buy "that dress" but alas designers don't make em like that any more and it was a one off.



The stunning at any weight, Anita Ekberg (above) in a square cut brocade sheath evening dress. Once again, a cut that works for a voluptuous trim woman, both day and night but which is not that easy to find off the rack any more. Hayley Morely is built on a scale similar to a younger svelte Ekberg yet Fast does not seem to bestow upon her the rich and opulent wardrobe and designs that Ekberg rocked in the 50's and early 60's.


Here is one of my spring looks, this simply denim day dress with a full (not A-line) skirt has bust seaming and great support and I pair it with a fitted calico blouse, tanned legs and blue suede slides. Simple, clean, still curvy but not trashy and no weird lumpy bits. The dress has been worn so much that it may fall apart soon but what can I do? They don't make em like that any more; obviously and obliviously.




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Monday, February 15, 2010

Oh please, we should all be so lucky


...to have Pete Townshend's abs at any age. Having had my beautiful son six months ago I still have 18 more pounds to go before I'm back at what I once thought was "big."

I now know what "big" is. Pete's stomach is NOT big!

My tum helped build a Super baby who is almost 25 pounds at six months and his doctor says he's 100% perfect for his height, trim even. Trim is Pete's stomach. Not many straight people over 30 have one that flat!

It's a second job to get my figure back but I'm still not looking as bad as these amorphous and insipid, faceless muffin Jabba the Hut people slagging Pete's awesome wardrobe malfunction at the Super Bowl. A few of these detractors I deigned to google and saw from their photos that they should be the last people to ever be making value judgements about appearance! Crikey, more than a few were doing a far impression of the Michelin man.

That is NOT a flabby stomach at all on Pete Townshend, he is in great shape. Most of the idiots who were talking shite about him predictably are not.

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Thursday, February 11, 2010

Happy Valentine's Day

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Kayne West: Stupid, lowlife, meretricious FAILURE!




What an insipid failure Kayne West is. He claims to be some alchemist of Neo Pan-Africanism for the MTV contingency and yet all he seems to accomplish is bringing every stereotype that the white supremacist media and power structure have about black males to a burgeoning Neo and Paleo-conservative America. Kanye brings it to life in blazing Minstrel Show glory ignoring the fact (or perhaps pissing on it) that he represents black males as role model. He acts rude, self entitled, jive ass, bombastic, plays the persecution complex Olympics and now he and his two-bit buzz cut trollop are walking around in full length coats consisting of Lynx pelts a big wild cat now threatened in 48 states and nearly extinct in most of Europe.

I'm very enraged over this and just can't compute why any First World person would kill a big cat for it's pelt. The cat looks so much more beautiful in it, they avoid humans as much as possible and the killing of lynx directly contributes to the illegal endangered animal fur trade. Big cats are not chickens or yoghurts, they are top predators that represent the wilderness, forests, deserts. They have a intrinsic nobility that I find, in tandem with nature or without, almost religious.

Moreover, West and a large majority of his Hip Hop community sees nothing wrong with spending £100 for a manicure, £1500 for hair extensions, £700 for a pair of shoes, £1000 for a bottle of booze, £5000 for rims for their car, £25000 for a mouth grill...They never come out and protest when elderly people or children in their respective home towns are abused by young thugs but they rage and play the race card when they are criticized. Then they whine that "animal rights activists don't have their priorities straight" and "don't care about people....."

Tacky and atrociously nasty. NO ONE, I repeat again NO ONE (save a homeless person), can rationalize a fur coat; especially of an animal who's numbers are rapidly dwindling. I won't stand idly by while this Atlanta vagina sailor stabs the good work of Big cat and endangered species advocates in the heart with his paucity of values and common sense. Here is Kayne West's idea of a stinging "rebuke" to the vehemence of his critics and my take on it:

"WHEN IT'S ALL SAID AND DONE, REMEMBER THE FEARLESS, REMEMBER THE DREAMERS, REMEMBER THOSE WHO REPRESENT THE GHETTO…THE FAIRY TALE OF NOTHING TO SOMETHING.
So, you middle class dolt, where does electrocuting an endangered creature up it's rectum while it's still alive fit into this transformative, Horatio Alger panacea you never came up in? Does an escape from poverty excuse torturing a living being to DEATH for a skin that looks infinitely better on it's original bearer? Paul Robeson (have you even heard of him Kayne?) made it out of poverty and never wore crap clothing like yourself as he was most likely too busy being respected for his commitment to social change as well as being an artist and a scholar, two things you'll never achieve. You look like a garish, nouveau riche furvert.

I'M BRIEFLY SADDENED BY NEGATIVE COMMENTS, BUT I HAVE TO REMEMBER THOSE PEOPLE ARE SCARED, INCAPABLE OR JUST PLAIN IDIOTS. WE ARE THE F***ING ROCK STARS BABY.
No, you're not. Pete Townshend is rock star. Mick Jagger is a rock star. Gnarls Barkley are rock stars. Sly Stone is a rock star. Carlos Santana is rock star and Paul McCartney is a rock star. Your shit is old now, glaringly so. At your pace, no one will know who you were in ten years or even care unless the name "Estelle" or "American Boy" is attached to it. Your adjectives just show what a pestilent pit of uneducated putrescence you are in attempting to describe others.


NO COCAINE, JUST LIFE MY N****S!! NO COCAINE, JUST LIFE! IT'S FUNNY TO ME WHEN FASHION BLOGGERS DOWN OUR OUFITS AND THEN SUPER JOCK OUTLANDISH SHIT ON THE RUNWAY BUT THEN THEY DRESS MAD PRUDE AND DON'T LIVE FASHION.
"OUR OUFITS" Yeah my man, because you've now called on a collective consciousness of all illegal dogfighters, wiggers and crack dealers to stand behind you on how dope animal cruelty is and contradicting you on the phatness of the liquidation of a Lynxes, Tigers, Leopards and Jaguars isn't happenin, dig? Great role model. I'm sure your mother who was school teacher is proud because excusing stupidity is so much more empowering then uplifting communities or setting an example as a decent human being, know what I'm sayin?


WE LIVE IT MAN. F*** THAT, WE LIVE IT!!! WE LIVE IT SO HARD PEOPLE LIVE THROUGH US! WE REPRESENT YOUR INNER SPIRIT!! THE CHILD IN US ALL, THE BRUTAL HONESTY, THE NAIVETY, THE BRAVE WARRIOR, THE ADRENALINE THAT ALLOWS A MOTHER TO LIFT A CAR IF HER CHILD WAS TRAPPED UNDER IT!
Shut the fuck up, you don't live shit! All you know how to lift is a fucking razor blade and pull out a credit card.

REMEMBER, THERE WAS A TIME WHEN EVERYBODY DISSED MICHAEL JACKSON EVERY CHANCE THEY COULD. IMAGINE THE PRESSURE OF BEING A TRUE ICON. VERY FEW HUMAN BEINGS ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO TAKE CONSTANT HATE!!! He's is so incredibly irresponsible in his straw-man pronouncements.

IF WE DON'T DO WHAT YOU FEEL IS THE SHIT, YOU BEAT US UP VERBALLY AND MENTALLY, LIKE A CATHOLIC SCHOOL TEACHER BEATING A CREATIVE STUDENT INTO SUBMISSION. I CAN HEAR YOU SCREAMING 'COLOR INSIDE THE LINES!!!' WELL F*** YOUR COLORING BOOK, COLOR BY NUMBERS APPROACH TO LIFE. How is NOT contributing to animals becoming extinct "submission", explain why? If you and your slack jawed pear GF were homeless in Poland, Detroit or Russia then you should be wearing fur to stay ALIVE. You're not doing anything to engender originality within your life or the lives of your addle pated fans (apart from having me blog about you...)

AT THE END OF THE DAY WHO ARE WE HURTING??? OH "THE NEW BLACK???" SINCE BARACK IS PRESIDENT BLACKS DON'T LIKE FUR COATS, RED LEATHER, AND FRIED CHICKEN ANY MORE?!
Wow. You just want play up to every white supremacist, David Duke, Klaus Barbie type that ever walked the face of the earth don't you? People have decided that fur -ESPECIALLY OF AN ENDANGERED BIG CAT-is an ostentatious and ugly thing to own. The last time I checked, black people were allowed to have opinions that don't fit stereotypes created by white supremacy OR the idiots in their own communities such as yourself.

WHEN YOU TRULY UNDERSTAND CULTURAL SETTINGS, BOUNDARIES, AND OUR MODERN DAY CASTE SYSTEMS, THEN YOU CAN FEEL THE GLORY AND PAIN FROM THE DAYS OF KINGS IN AFRICA TO THE NEW KINGS OF THE MEDIA. LET THE BALL PLAYERS DANCE AFTER THEY SCORE! IT'S LIFE MY N****S, Quite possibly the stupidest thing I've ever read from a celebrities' own words. He's literally writing his own Minstrel Show for the white nationalists who watch VH1 to enjoy.

IT'S LIFE! REMEMBER CLOTHING IS A CHOICE. WE WERE BORN NAKED!!! FRESH IS AN OPINION, LOVE IS OBJECTIVE, TASTE IS SELECTIVE, AND EXPRESSION IS MY FAVORITE ELECTIVE. NO MORE POLITICS OR APOLOGIES!!!YOU NEED TO READ ABOUT POLITICS KAYNE, YOU HAVE NO REASONING ABILITY. IT'S ALL HAND TO MOUTH < "LOOK AT ME" and GUESS WHAT? NO ONE WITH ANY SELF RESPECT RESPECTS YOU! YOU WANT RESPECT? GET IN A TIGER CAGE OR HUNT THE LYNX YOURSELF WITH NO DOGS, GUNS OR TRAPS.

Better yet, get a vasectomy.

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